BOX FULL OF AMAZING CUSTOM MANDALORIAN ACTION FIGURES FROM HASNOTALENT

 

This is the way.

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VINTAGE KENNER ULTRAMAN FIGURES FROM JAPAN?! 1980's POPY WORLD HERO & BANDAI POCKET HERO COLLECTION

May the "shuwatch!" be with you.

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THE RISE OF SKYWALKER OPENING NIGHT IN TOKYO

I went to go see Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker with a couple friends here in Japan.

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I FOUND A $100 STAR WARS PLAYSET IN JAPAN FOR $6!!!

So yeah, I found a $75-$100 Star Wars playset at my local Book-Off for 600 yen ($6)... let's take a look at this awesome playset and see what it looks like with some vintage Kenner figures displayed on it!!

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STAR WARS REPRO - COOL or TERRIBLE?!

This week, I check out some amazing "vintage-style" Star Wars reproductions and custom figures...

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LIGHTSABER ENVY - COMIC STRIP

Recently I created the Instagram account @tokyotoybastard and have been taking a lot of photos of my toy collection. The photos are usually on clean white backgrounds and look nice enough, but I wanted to experiment a bit with what I could do. So I made this dumb comic strip using photographs of vintage Star Wars action figures that I took. You might notice that I sort of recycled a joke from my WHY WERE STAR WARS TOYS SO SH!TTY? article... 

Anyway, this little exercise brought me back to my high school days when I used to read Twisted ToyFare Theater and draw my own demented comic strips. I wrote down a ton of ideas for more of this nonsense, so if you enjoyed this one, let me know and I will definitely make more :)

DON'T EAT THE YELLOW LIGHTSABER:

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BUBBA FETT, PRINCESS LAIR & DARF FARTER

The British toy company Palitoy created some of the best Star Wars action figure commercials ever made and possibly some of the greatest action figure commercials in general. In one of my previous articles, I featured their TV ad for the Return of the Jedi Speeder Bike, which was a significantly better advertisement when compared to Kenner's TV ad.

Just check out this awesome ad for the exclusive Palitoy 'Death Star Playest', which was not for sale in the USA and made entirely of fucking cardboard!! 

However, one of my favorite Palitoy commercials of all time is the infamous 'Bubba Fett' ad. Although it features a really cool atmosphere and tangible imagination, the narrator of the damned thing goes and screws it all up by pronouncing Boba Fett, Princess Leia and Darth Vader's names in the most fucked up ways I've ever heard...

...being British is no excuse.

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WHY WERE STAR WARS TOYS SO SH!TTY? PART II

[ CLICK HERE TO READ PART I ]

Aside from the somewhat freakish lightsabers, there were many other troubling aspects to the design of the original Kenner line of Star Wars action figures.  First being the articulation.  As I mentioned in PART I, a popular line of action figures existing in the USA before the release of Star Wars, were the Micronauts, also known as Microman in Japan. Microman was the very first 3 3/4" scale action figure.  Microman and likewise the Micronauts, had over a dozen points of articulation, making them super poseable and a lot of fun to play with.  Kenner's Star Wars action figures only had five or less points of articulation...

So if you were a kid back in the late 70's or early 80's and wanted some sci-fi themed toys to play with, which one would have seemed like the most fun?  Of course many kids that had already discovered the Micronauts toys before Star Wars was released probably thought that the Star Wars action figures were mostly rubbish. Unless of course they had become die-hard Star Wars fans after seeing the films, allowing their collection of Micronauts figures to hang out and have make believe adventures with some inarticulate Jedi loving pals...

"Shhh, be quiet... our love is forbidden by the Empire!"

...but who really wants to go on an adventure with a bunch of awkward looking guys that can't even bend their knees.  Jedi or not.  

Take the rigamortis stricken Biker Scout Trooper for example.  He looks like a mentally challenged man sliding down a playground slide...

"Wheeee!!!"

His legs are completely joint-less, so his feet go nowhere near the speeder bikes pedals, which are supposed to control the steering flaps.  The two kids in this commercial try their damndest to make it seem like there is nothing wrong with this toy... and I'm fairly sure that the white kid is on some sort of drugs, just look at his face.

Also, Han Solo never rode on a speeder bike you fucking moron.  If you are going to reenact a scene from Return of the Jedi, at least use the right goddamned figure. And why did the black kid have to be the bad guy?  Racist. 

Now check out a commercial for the exact same toy, but from the European distributor of vintage Star Wars figures, Palitoy.  They knew exactly how to sell a shitty action figure...

Don't you want one now?!  The speeder bikes themselves are actually damned cool, like most of the Star Wars vehicles, Kenner got that part right.  Later on in the mid 90's, a new line of Star Wars action figures released a somewhat better Biker Scout, with speeder bike, that had the ability to bend his knees... but for some reason decided to keep his arms perpetually bent like he was taking a shit.

Oh well, better than nothing I suppose...

To be continued. . .  again. . .

WHY WERE STAR WARS TOYS SO SH!TTY?

Fans of vintage Star Wars toys are probably foaming at the mouth right now after reading the title of this article, ready to rip my limbs from their sockets... but fear not, I too am a huge fan of vintage Star Wars figures.

Last week I posted an article featuring a brief history of the Microman action figures which were released by Takara in the mid 1970's in Japan.  In it I explained that Microman and it's international versions, the Micronauts, were the dominate 3 3/4" action figures until Kenner's line of Star Wars toys came around.  Microman's sales dropped after that point and Takara started to focus on their 'Microchange' line, which later evolved into the Transformers.

Whilst attempting to express some anger and disappointment over the original Microman toy line being phased out and replaced by 'gimmicky' transforming robots, I said "fuck the Transformers"...

I quickly received some angry comments calling me various rude adjectives.  Some readers even asked...

"...fuck Transformers?. How about fuck Star Wars? How did action figures with (at most) five lame points of articulation, who could barely grip their stupid accessories, usurp the actually cool toys just because they *vaguely* resembled characters from a popular movie franchise? Inquiring minds want to know."

OK inquiring minds, here you go. 

In the late 1970's, 3 3/4" action figures were still a relatively new thing.  Hasbro's G.I. Joe toys were still 12" tall and Mego's line of 8" Star Trek and DC Super Heroes figures were doing moderately well, however their new 3 3/4" Micronauts figures were gaining a lot of attention at the time.  The Micronaut's Japanese progenitor, Microman (1974), was technically the first 3 3/4" action figure line to ever exist, but were unknown in the USA, making Fisher Price's 'Adventure People' (1975) the first line in that scale to be released in America.

Sometime between 1976-1977, Lucasfilm and Fox offered the license to design and produce their line of Star Wars action figures to many different toy manufacturers, including Mego, but all of them passed on the offer for one reason or another. . . except for General Mills' subsidiary, Kenner.

With expectations of Star Wars' success being somewhat low in the spring of 1977, Kenner was not at all prepared for the tidal wave of demand that would proceed the opening of the film in the summer.  They were so unprepared after the film's release that they actually began selling  an empty box called 'The Early Bird Certificate' with illustrations of the characters and a mail away certificate inside that eager fans could redeem for actual Star Wars figures.  The figures included Luke Skywalker, Princess Leia, Chewbacca, and R2D2... but you had to wait until 1978 to receive them.

 

You might be thinking "What a shitty thing to do!", but back in 1977, if you were a Star Wars fan, The Early Bird Certificate was a must have, even if you had to wait nearly a year to actually physically hold the figures in your frantically shaking hands.  They were like drugs.

For one reason or another, Kenner decided to produce their Star Wars action figures in 3 3/4" scale.  High oil prices definitely had an effect on the toy market in the mid 70's.  Plastic was becoming a lot more expensive, fueling the emergence of the 3 3/4" action figure market. Also, being able to make vehicles, spaceships and playsets in a reasonable scale for a reasonable price would have been a priority.  Whatever the reason, Kenner's production staff decided to use Fisher Price's Adventure People toy line as the foundation for their Star Wars figures.

(A Fisher-Price Adventure People figure that looks suspiciously like elderly George Lucas)

(An "Adventure Person" becomes an Obiwan Kenobi prototype)

(... and so on ...)

Back then, kids and fans didn't care about the scale or articulation of the toys, they were just happy as hell to have them.  Having seen the truly amazing Star Wars films, the action figures allowed fans of all ages to recreate their favorite scenes at home. 

Remember that this was a time before home video was a standard household appliance.  The first VCRs hit store shelves in the USA the same year as Star Wars hit theaters, but the first Star Wars film wasn't even released on VHS until 1982.... so unfortunately the kids who had the action figures were too damned excited about having Star Wars shit in their house to even notice how fucked up some of the toys actually were...

I mean, just look at Darth Vader.  He looks like he's been wrapped up in a garbage bag... and his lightsaber... it looks like he's holding a walking stick that's too short and has a dog's cock coming out the other end...

To be continued. . .

CLICK HERE TO READ PART II

Also check out the official trailer for Plastic Galaxy, a documentary about the production of the original Kenner Star Wars action figures as told by the actual toy designers and insane collectors.

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STRANGE STAR WARS TV ADS FROM JAPAN

(A 'force' filled three-way on a satellite dish)

George Lucas and his Star Wars franchise are no strangers to Japan.  Star Wars Episode III Revenge of the Sith was the highest grossing film of all time on it's opening weekend there, so it's no surprise that Japanese advertising companies would want to cash in on the success of the popular sci-fi fantasy franchise. 

(Star Wars opens in Tokyo, 1978)

The original Star Wars film from 1977 wasn't released in Japan until a full year later, in 1978.  Following the film's success, the Hagoromo Food Corporation released this bizarre unlicensed TV commercial for it's canned "sea-chicken".

Later on, sometime between the 80's and 90's , Panasonic not only produced a series of officially licensed Star Wars themed TV commercials, they also got George Lucas to star in them...

Japanese TV ads still feature Star Wars' iconic characters in their TV commercials on a yearly basis, advertising everything from cars to instant ramen noodles.  This trend will most likely continue with the release of the upcoming new Star Wars films.  Until then, enjoy this more recently produced Nissin Cup Ramen noodle commercial featuring Yoda and a really bizarre ending tag line...

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TOY CATS SHOWCASE IS THE PLACE

One of my favorite places to visit in Tokyo is a little hidden gem of a toy shop called TOY CATS SHOWCASE.  Located conveniently near Kichijoji Station right behind Yodobashi Camera, TOY CATS is easily the 'holy grail' of toy shops for collectors of Henshin Cyborg and Microman. They also specialize in Star Wars toys, 'gashapon' (vending machine toys) and various dealer showcases.

A collector himself, Yuichi Ishii the shop's owner, is one of the most genuinely friendly toy shop owners you will find in Tokyo.  His passion for his own toy collection is extremely evident, beaming from his smiling face into your very soul.  It was this passion that converted me from a strictly 'sofubi' and Star Wars collector, into a Microman and Henshin Cyborg fanatic.

Thanks Ishii-san ;D

Recently I visited TOY CATS and interviewed Ishii-san about his shop.  I also asked him to show off some of his prized possessions.  Many of the toys that he presents in the video are most likely unknown to the layman... but you can bet your ass that they are not easy to find ...or cheap.

For more info visit the OFFICIAL TOY CATS FACEBOOK PAGE.

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THE FORCE IS STRONG WITH STAR CASE (UPDATED)

Just a few minutes walking distance from where I used to work in Tokyo, stands a Star Wars collector's wet dream...  STAR CASE.  

( Chillin' in front of STAR CASE on my lunch break )

I could spend a couple of hours writing about how awesome it is, show off the rarest vintage Japanese Star Wars toys and such - but instead I found an excellent video by a guy named Jason Ho, who did an excellent job filming the shop and interviewing it's owner, Yuu Katagiri, a few years ago. Check it out!

Initially I had planned to interview Katagiri-san after the Episode 7 came out to get his thoughts on Disney taking over Star Wars and how it's effected the amount of customers that come into Star Case. But once again another fellow beat me to it. Oh well, saves me a lot of time and effort ;)

Also check out STAR CASE's line of bootleg 

"sofubi" Star Wars toys, 'SPACE CONVOY':

...may the force be with you...